Monday, December 15, 2014

Dear Santa - my annual letter on behalf of in house counsel everywhere

Since my letter last year went over so well - even got a few things on my list! - I thought I'd try my luck again this year.  So here goes:

Dear Santa,

Thanks again for all the goodies you brought last year.  I love the the contract management system (SringCM rocks!, Thanks to Dinesh for making my crazy Visio workflows a reality.)  I also appreciate the sales people who are trying their best to get deals in early so I'm not rushing around like a crazy person on New Year's Eve attempting to get that contract signed.  I'm still waiting on the new world order where my lack of testosterone doesn't automatically mean I also lack the same pay.  Until then, I love this video and will proudly wear my own label.

For this year, I'd love to have law firm lawyers (and maybe a few family members) actually understand what it is I do all day.  At my reunion I was inundated with questions about how this or that works.  I was amazed to see how many very smart people that I went to school with think that I don't actually do any real work, and I only work 30 hours a week.  Not sure where they get their ideas about in house counsel responsibilities - but could you bring them a clue for Christmas?

I also want a  few months (because I know a year is too much to ask), where laws that won't ever pass aren't in the daily news.  So I don't have to spend an hour each day explaining it and why it doesn't matter to us to every employee who watches CNN or Fox News.

While we're talking about getting a break, how about a break from the sales people trying to sell me legal services/tech at the end of the year.  I get it, it's their end of quarter and they need to make their numbers. But guess what, it's my end of quarter/year, and my sales guys need me to focus on their stuff right now.  Plus, I'm out of budget for the year anyway.  If they must, tell them to hit me up in January when everything else is a bit slow.  But I'll give a hint - I haven't yet bought anything from a cold call.

And just 'cause it's Christmas - is there anything you can do about the making Christmas Calories really not count?

Thank you again for last year's gifts.  I promise to be Good for 2015 (as long as I get to define Good!).

Your in house lawyers.

No comments:

Post a Comment